best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
