I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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