"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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