Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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