The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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