I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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