he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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