Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
