Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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