weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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