she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
