I must be too annoying 4 u.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize