remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
