video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
