The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize