I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize