That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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