Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
