You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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