and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
