fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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