Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
