She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
