i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
