Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
