It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
