"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize