okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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