WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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