Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I didn't notice because vodka
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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