I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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