You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
