it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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