I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You ruined the universe
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize