why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
