I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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