I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
