I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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