how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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