smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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