At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you made out with another girl for some wings
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
how does that bad decision feel?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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