I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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