We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
