i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
