Porn is love you can see.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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