Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
