And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
