i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
