haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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