What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I bet he comes in French.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
