Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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