he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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