i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
