remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
