Midget sex pt 2 tonight
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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