how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
