ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
