so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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