Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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