Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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