I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
