im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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