i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
