He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
