Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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