he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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