We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
