Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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