when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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